Is
there anything better than wanking? |
 |
This
is my favourite song about wanking.
And it's the greatest punk-pop song ever recorded . . . with the possible
exception of Plastic
Bertrand's "Ca Plane Pour Mois"
Tweet
"Oops, there goes my shirt
up over my head, Oh my.
Oops, there goes my skirt dropin' to my feet, Oh my."
Oh my, indeed, Missy.
A touching story about a father lending his son some primo wanking material.
Gary Numan
"I
unstick pages and read
I look at pictures of you
I smell the lust in my hands
Everyday I die."
Cindy Lauper
"No, I won't worry, and
I won't fret -
Ain't no law against it yet..."
I don't know...with the way things are going in this country it may
not be long...
XTC
Depending
on how you read the lyrics, this one is either an ode to Andy Partridge's
penis, or to his newborn baby.
As i see it, one is beautiful and the other disgusting.
Violent Femmes
I think
the Femmes have actually come out and stated that, despite what everyone
says, this one's not about masturbation.
But what do they know . . .
Mr. Bungle
"My
hand gets tired and my dick gets sore,
But the girls of porn want more."
Oh Mike . . .
The Vapors
A popular
urban myth says this song's about masturbation.
Who knows if it's true.
My only question is what the fuck does this line mean:"Everyone
avoids me like a Psyclone Ranger" . . .
Obviously...
Ivor Biggun
This guy is such a fuckin' freak
. . .
If you've never heard him, do yourself a favor.
Marc Almond
From
the album Mother Fist and Her Five Daughters.
Need I say more?
Jackson Browne
Jackson sings this one from the
perspective of a roadie who has to settle for Rosie (Palm) - cuz the
stars get all the real tail.
Way to slum it, Jackson.
Roxy Music
This
one's not about masturbation, per se, but about sex with a blow-up dollie;
which I think is close enough. . . .
But the best thing about this song is it's "false ending" -
one of the greatest ever.